Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Course Note #150: The Sound of Silence

In my Sunday teachings of late, I have been inspired to teach from my 7steps journal, and to teach on those quotes that I am prompted to during the hour.  I have created another blog for that journal, where I have the quote from the book The Seven Steps to Awakening, the commentary from Regina Dawn Akers and then my own guidance.  If you are interested it is here: http://www.stepstoself.blogspot.com

The audio contains the entire teaching, in this blog I will share a few that came up.  First, I was prompted to a practice that was very meaningful for me this week, inspired by quote #127.

            A favorite teaching in A Course in Miracles, one that speaks to me again and again, is this:

It is your task to seek and find within yourself
the obstacles to the awareness of the Love that you are.

            What are the obstacles to knowing ourselves as Love?  False beliefs lead to unseen ego-maintenance habits played out again and again.  The only way to really break free of these false beliefs and habits is to vigilantly and consistently rest in the current-moment.  We can be guided in the current moment or we can be moved by habit.  So often, we go about our day moved by habitual thoughts and behaviors without even pausing to notice or question what we are doing.
A few years ago I asked Holy Spirit to reveal to me what I was hiding from myself, and so much came up!  Much of what came up is chronicled on this blog, as I have written and spoken about how I was guided to see various false beliefs that have been driving my life.
            Now…it’s time to go deeper.

Holy Spirit,
I ask that you continue to reveal to me
the obstacles and unseen ego habits
that are driving me to places
I no longer want to go.

~Thank You~

            Yes, it’s true that unseen habits and beliefs take me to places that I don’t want to go, although for awhile I did want to go to there…but now, I see what I truly want, to know the Self-Love that I am.  Therefore, I must continue to go deeper and look at the attachments, thought patterns and habits that maintain and feed the ego, the false self.

            Inspiration from quote #33:

            I love what RDA says here: “Stay humble.  Stay focused.  Stay in silent desire.  Let the pot boil dry.”  Amen.

            Regina’s comment, “let the pot boil dry” came through personal guidance to be careful not to rest in any sort of false awakening or enlightenment.  I don’t think that’s something that I have to worry about! Ha!  I find her to be way more awakened than most who claim to be, but she is such an inspiration to me because even after all the great teaching and wisdom that has come through her, she’s still willing to go deeper.

            That’s the task before each one of us.  We are met where we are. 
It’s interesting to me that I am so guided to this work and that I love it so much because, I have not had any sort of goal in regard to awakening and enlightenment.  Nevertheless, I can see that this work is taking me deeper into undoing the ego.

            My guidance in regard to #33:

I cannot know myself through thinking.  The false self is kept alive by thinking.  I am willing to die daily to this small-limited self so that I may know the True-real Self.  In silence I am aware of Being.

I was prompted to NTI Luke, Chapter 18, v18-30:

“When one begins to understand what is asked of him on this path to Heaven, one must become afraid.  That is because you believe that you are the thoughts you think. You have taken them on as your identity. And so, when I ask you to lay your thoughts aside, and I seem to make no exceptions to this request, there must come a time that you become afraid.  For there must come a time in which you think that I am asking you to trade yourself for the kingdom of God.”

I used to think this idea of letting go of thinking was just going too far!  Now I get it, but I also see that I have been guided to really see this over a period of years; especially since 2007 when I entered what A Course in Miracles calls, “a period of relinquishment”.
It’s probably true that each one of us have experienced the fear that we would have to give up something we valued in order to be “spiritual”.  Initially in 2007, I was guided to give up certain habits, now in 2012 I realize that I am being asked to give up everything I think I am!  Say what!?  It’s no wonder that I have experienced much resistance during the last five years, although this year, I feel that I have moved through that resistance.

Recently I received the guidance in quote #108 to begin to let go of the starring role in my movie by throwing out the script.  The script is “my” thoughts, and I throw out the script as I stop listening to and believing the stories “my” thoughts spin. 

I am beginning to understand what it means to be the “impersonal” Self.  God-Love-Heart-Self-Truth is not attached to person, place or thing.  I can now see how holding onto the attached-Sheryl-self keeps me from knowing the unattached Self.  I want to know the Freedom that I am.  I want to experience, “Oh My God. I’m Free!”

I wrote a book entitled, “Oh My God, It’s Me!” and I just received the insight that I really cannot know that I am free until I recognize that it is indeed “me” that is in the way of knowing the Freedom-Self.

Guidance from quote #116 follows this perfectly:  From the 7steps book:

“As long as you have all sorts of ideas about yourself you know yourself through the mist of these ideas; to know yourself as you are, give up all ideas.”

I wrote: “I am not who I think I am.  Thank God for that! Ha!  To Know thy Self I must relinquish all thoughts and ideas (positive and negative) about who I think I am.  Let it all go.  Rest in the Truth of silence.

Then I was prompted back to NTI Luke, Chapter 18 v9-14:

“Listen not to your own voice, which tells you how right you are in all that
you think.  Remember that I have asked you to lay your thoughts aside. Here is why I
make this request:
“Now you have a definition of yourself that you believe.  It includes preferences and judgments and all manner of concepts that tell you who you are. But these concepts do not tell you who you are. Each and every one of them tells you who you are not.
“Remember I told you that you have only traveled away from Me in your perception of yourself. These concepts, which you believe define you, are the misperceptions that tell you that you are not Me. These concepts, which you think define you, serve the purpose of separating you from Me within your mind.
“Remember, you have journeyed away from Me within the mind only. It is only
your perception that tells you that you are separate from Me.  So if you are to discover the truth of who you are, you must be willing to lay your perceptions of yourself aside. You must be willing to stop believing that you know who you are. You must be willing to be open to discovering your truth. This is the humility I ask for.  I ask you to admit that you could be wrong about your definition of yourself.”

            It’s been truly fascinating to me to see how my Inner Guide has led me over the years, and now I see that it has all been for the purpose to teach me to undo the thinking that has kept me from knowing the Self that I am.  That’s why I do this work, not to entertain myself or to stack up new ideas, beliefs and concepts, but to undo…undo the false beliefs and thoughts that form the walls of our self-imposed prisons.

            As we rest in the silence through whatever practice takes us there, we experience that there are no thoughts, there are no words, there is no “other”.  There is only the sound of silence.

The Audio was recorded on 5/20/12 and is 53 min.

    MP3 File

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