Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Course Note #138: Lay Down your Toys

Just as we go through stages in the process of growing from a child to an adult, I have long seen that we go through a similar process on a spiritual level.  In truth of course, we need not grow spiritually, we are indeed already healed and whole, but since we’ve forgotten this, we do seem to go through stages to the remembrance of our true Self. 
            When my inner teacher wants to make a point about something with me, I first receive a message from perhaps a book or audio, and I will know it as a personal message because it is as if my eyes or ears are highly tuned in.  Then it will be reinforced over a period of time from things I’m drawn to read or listen to, as well as from conversations or insights.  Recently the message was about letting go of childish things and putting away my toys.

            “The process of putting away childish but comfortable beliefs (see 1 Cor. 13:11) is painful, but it is an essential part of the process of growing up spiritually.”  (Howard Clinebell)

            This spoke to me because particularly in the last few years, I have been urged to go deeper into looking at false beliefs.  It was a painful process at times as I came face-to-face with long-held beliefs in guilt, separation, unworthiness and lack and limitation.  In the adulthood of my true Self, there is no place for these immature beliefs.

            That evening I came across this:
            “Unready means afraid.  You are afraid of what you are.  Your destination is the whole.  But you are afraid you will lose your identity.  This is childishness, clinging to the toys, to your desires and fears, opinions and ideas [and attachments].  Give it all up and be ready for the real to assert itself.”  (The Seven Steps to Awakening, quote #73)

            Yes, it is time to put away our toys; the desires and fears and all that jazz that we think defines who we are when we are unaware of our true Self. 

            A few years ago as I began to realize that the voice that chatters incessantly in my head is not who I am, I started calling it the toxic chatty Cathy, in remembrance of a talking doll I had as a child.  While receiving this message on putting away my toys, I was once again prompted to NTI, which also speaks of this idea when it tells us that we had a desire to experience ourselves differently than we are in truth, but it’s only a game we are playing:

            “But games are not reality, and nothing in reality has ever changed because of games you choose to play. Be attentive in patience as you unwind the doll that was wound up within the games you have played.  This doll shall be laid aside, and your joy will be known in abundance. …‘Be true to your Self’ means to be true to your true desire, for that is the desire of your Self.  Lay down your toys.”  (NTI James 5v7-9)

I unwind the doll as I stop listening to the stories it tells, and as I stop listening to its opinions and fears and desires.  It is my attention that keeps the game in play

And then A Course in Miracles tells us that we have been playing a childish game where we have played at being a body, and have played at feeling prey to attack and fear and guilt.  And yet, all the while Love shines on us, and none of the games we play can change this one iota. 

            The message up for me is to: Stop clinging to your toys.  Let go of that which is false.


In the audio below I speak about what I’ve written thus far, and I also go into purification of desire.  Our Heart’s desire is Know thy Self and in the willingness to focus on true desire we will indeed come to know thy Self.
For a while I was confused about how to keep this focus in the forefront of my mind with so many distractions throughout the day.  I was reminded that as I practice the mantra that I have been given as often as I remember throughout the day, I am returning my focus to my true Self. Your inner teacher will give you the best practice for wherever you are too.

When it comes to purification of desire NTI James contains life-changing material.**  Maybe you’ve been into inner work for many years and wonder, like me, why you still fall into certain false beliefs and ideas.  You may wonder why after all this time you continue to create experiences of lack and limitation.  Here’s the answer:

“You always receive as you have asked, but you may not be aware that you are receiving because you do not know what you have asked for.  You do not ask from God through the expression of your words or thoughts.  You ask from the process of creation through desire, which you give your energy to.”

            We’ve been told in the Course and NTI that we have an illusory split mind – split between the desire to know thy Self as Love created it, unlimited and free, and the false desire to know ourselves as lacking, limited and afraid.  It is the false desires that we have given our energy to for a very long time, and so it is through these false desires that we create experiences that we want, but think that we don’t want. 
            For me anyway, it was the practice of mind-watching that really helped me see the thoughts in my mind which directed me to the false beliefs, and then to the false desire feeding it all.

            One of toxic chatty Cathy’s (ego) ploys is to tell us that if we focus only on “know thy Self” we will end up homeless, broke or doing something that we really don’t want to do.  But I have discovered that the more I keep my focus on Self  versus clinging to my toys, everything just seems to flow without all the struggle that I used to feel.  We find it hard to believe that Life really is a flow, because we’ve been clinging to doing it “my” way for so long.  There is another way, a better way.  Go within and find it.

There is a time when childhood should be passed
and gone forever. 
Seek not to retain the toys of children.
Put them all away,
for you have need of them no more.
                    (ACIM. T-29.IX.6)

This teaching was recorded on 1/15/12 and is 56 min.
It contains much more than written here,
including a final trap by spiritual ego that is important to see.


    MP3 File

** I wrote more in depth on NTI James in a blog from December, 2010: http://sherylvalentine.blogspot.com/2010/12/course-note-84-what-do-i-want-now.html

To listen to audios on "Stages on the Spiritual Path" and on Mind-watching see my audio blog: http://www.sherylvalentineaudio.blogspot.com