In the Manual of A Course in Miracles there is a section on “The Development of Trust”. It came to my awareness in August of 2007 that I was in the third stage, “a period of relinquishment” and had entered that stage around January of that same year. Now that we’re coming up on 2012, I have been in this stage for going on five years.
It’s been a fascinating journey in these last 5 years, as Holy Spirit has used the fabric of my very life to lead me through this idea of “relinquishment”.
“The third stage to which one must go can be called “a period of relinquishment.” If this is interpreted as giving up the desirable, it will engender enormous conflict. Few escape this distress entirely. There is, however, no point in sorting out the valuable from the valueless unless the next obvious step is taken. The third step is rarely if ever begun until the second is complete. Therefore, the period of overlap is apt to be one in which the one feels called upon to sacrifice his own best interests on behalf of truth. He has not realized as yet how wholly impossible such a demand would be. He can learn this only as he actually does give up the valueless. Through this he learns that where he anticipated grief he finds a happy light-heartedness instead; where he thought something was asked of him he finds a gift bestowed on him.” (ACIM M-4.I.A.5)
I have definitely experienced “enormous conflict” and feeling like I had to sacrifice what I wanted in behalf in truth, in even the letting go of mundane lifestyle habits. So as I began to see that I was really being asked to let go of self-will and all that goes along with that, like my attachments and my thinking, well now, “enormous conflict” is an understatement.
And yet, in the areas that I have surrendered, I did see that I gave up nothing but an attachment to form. The truth is, we surrender to the true Self, which is who we really are, and so who we really are is not going to lead us to do something that we don’t want to do, this Self leads us to know our joy.
My inner teacher has used these teachings at various times over the past 5 years to teach me this: “I cannot pour new power into you if you are unwilling to give up old ways of being, old attitudes and old habitual thought patterns.”
First, I was guided to give up certain habits, and then for the last few years I have been guided to look deeper than ever before at the ego thought system, and how it is kept alive through the thoughts that we think.
In August of 2009, actually while at our first “be the love” event, in the middle of the night I heard, “Now is the time to study NTI.” And so, I began to do just that. Off-and-on for a period of a couple years I was led consistently to NTI Luke. Last year, I realized why, it’s basically a guidebook to navigate through this period of relinquishment! When I was prompted to read the “overview of contents”, I had this Aha! Moment.
“NTI Luke – Focuses on judgment and separation-based thinking as obstacles that must be let go in order to realize enlightenment. Helps the reader to question the value he places on his own judgment and thinking so he will increase his willingness to let them go.”
I now see that my inner teacher has led me step-by-step, not just in the last five years, but all through my life, to the understanding of just what it is that I am to relinquish – my attachment to the false self, and specifically, to “my” thinking, which is the voice of this self.
And still, I can see how certain behavioral habits are being used, even now, to show me my attachments to form and consequently, my unwillingness to fully surrender. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say about this in the coming year!
Supposedly, we live our lives in 9-year cycles that begin on our birthday. I have been feeling this energy to let go of old things for quite a while now, and lo and behold, on 12/2/2011 I enter into year 9, which is a year of letting go of old things, in order to move into new beginnings in the following year.
Recently when I taught on “Distractions, Practice and Devotion” I was prompted, once again, to Holy Spirit’s interpretation, through NTI, of the wineskins passages. It seems that everywhere I turn in the last few weeks, I am receiving the message to let go of the old!
So first, let’s look at NTI Luke, Chapter 5:
“Old habits must be let go, for old habits will not usher in a new day. With old habits, all things remain the same. But with new habits, all things are possible. I have come to teach you new habits. You will learn these habits by practicing them as I ask. Remember Me, and practice.”
I’d like to comment on this idea of “habits”. When I first received guidance from this passage in the Bible, and later from NTI, as I said, HS was speaking to me about lifestyle habits, but also used those habits to teach me more about habitual thought patterns.
Great spiritual literature like ACIM, NTI and the Bible meet us where we are at any point in our spiritual evolution, which is why these books can be read over-and-over again at various times in our lives, and seem to teach us totally new things.
Ultimately, these same teachings were used to reveal to me that the only habit that I really need to relinquish is the habit of listening to ego, the false self.
With old habits, all things remain the same. Until we change habits, nothing changes, and I’m sure you too, have seen the truth of this. Even so, ego uses our behavioral habits to keep us focused on changing things “out there” rather than looking at the real problem – listening to ego.
I love how my inner teacher has used habits in form to really teach me about the habit of listening to the stories in the mind, listening to the voice that crucifies, listening to the voice that judges every thing we think, say, see or do. Once we really break this habit, most likely, all the others will take care of themselves.
“Let go of old habits and old ways of thinking. They have not served you. To hold onto the old is to create a future like the past. That is not useful to you now. Listen to My Word. Hear what I say. Practice it. Then you will know what to do.” (NTI Matthew 9v14-17)
I also want to share a section from NTI Acts, Chapter 3 that speaks to me so poignantly as well:
“Do not worry about the mistakes you have made. They are based on ignorance, not reality. Be happy that you have been mistaken! Be joyous that there is another way to see! This is what it means to repent. To repent is to choose again. To repent is to decide to turn from the ways of ignorance and turn to the Voice of Knowledge. This is a joyous decision, for this is the decision that changes all things. This decision that you have made is a decision to listen to another Voice. It is the decision to let go of the thoughts you have listened to until now and to listen to another Voice, the one that comes from God. This decision is a decision to change habits you have had until now. It is a decision to see yourself through new eyes, eyes that are based on a foundation of truth.”
Even after all these years of feeling truly guided, I never cease to be amazed by it. Recently I wrote about being guided to the teachings in NTI on becoming an empty shell, which is essentially about learning to not listen to the “thinking mind” that chatters incessantly about nothing. And then being led to The Teachings of the Inner Ramana, which through its teaching on mantra and surrender, has given me tools to navigate through the next step.
So on the eve of my birthday, which will take me into a year of letting go of the old, I rest in gratitude for the help that is always here.
This is why I am here.
I am here to help you make this change
from believing in the false to
listening to the Voice of what is true.
This is the decision of your joy.
This is your path.
This is your way.
And I will help you,
until you do not need this help anymore.
(NTI Acts 3)
~
Thank you Holy Spirit,
To You Who is
my true Self.
1 comments:
Thank you for this timely message. It's exactly what I need to hear right now. Many blessing to you.
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