Over the last few months I did a series of teachings from the “Be Watchful with Me” series of messages, which are teachings from the “Holy Spirit Guides” series.* I have been prompted to write blogs on those teachings. This blog will be on the importance of staying focused on true desire.
Our true desire is Know thy Self. Many different words can be used, but in our heart-of-hearts, we all desire to know Self as Love created it, unlimited and free. For the most part, we we are not conscious of the fact that we also had a past desire to know ourselves as something other than a free being created by Love.
I’ve been carrying this particular message around with me for quite awhile now, ever since I realized that I create experience through the desire I give my energy to. I recognize that unconsciously, I have been giving energy to a past desire of not know thy Self! The great thing about mind watching is that it brings that which was unconscious to conscious awareness.
HS: “You are at a place where constant watchfulness is necessary. You have realized your true desire and made it known throughout the mind, yet the past desire is not yet resigned to your true desire. This is merely a time of patience, for a past desire cannot long live if new desire is not given to it. Stay focused on your true desire, which is in your heart. All remnants of past desire will fade away if you do not slip into listening to it now.”
So, I now recognize my true desire, yet the past desire to know myself as lacking and limited is still lurking in there too. I now want to create through my true desire, but let’s say I have a thought of lack like: I wonder if I will be able to pay the bills this month? I wonder if I will ever be able to retire? I wonder if I’ll be able to get a job?
As we learn to watch the mind, we see those thoughts: Ah…those are lack thoughts, and those thoughts stem from a belief in lack, and the belief comes the desire to not know thy Self. Here I see that the past desire is not totally gone. Why?
Well, because I have a split mind (not in truth), but here in time and space the mind is split between the desire to know myself as I truly am, and the desire to know myself as lacking and limited; the mind is split between a focus on truth and illusion.
I see the thoughts of lack and then I remember: Oh, that’s right! I no longer want to give energy to false beliefs and desires. Holy Spirit, I am willing to let go of this belief in lack, and let you heal it for me.
See, when we have those thoughts of lack, fear, unworthiness or guilt, we have merely slipped into listening to a past desire. We need not beat-up-on-ourselves for this, but instead be patient and return our mind to the desire that we do want to give our energy to. In this way the past desire will soon fade away.
I have to tell you that I have been working with issues around lack and limitation for decades, and while I have experienced much healing with it over the years, I did not see it begin to fade away until I began to practice exactly what I am sharing with you here. But I didn’t practice it once or twice, I have been vigilant with the practice for a couple of years now.
I got the most practice on lack and limitation beliefs by watching my mind as I drove by gas stations when gas prices were rising daily. Each time I drove by one, my mind would go into a rant about corporate greed, about those who are struggling and similar thoughts. One day, while watching these thoughts, I realized that they were thoughts stemming from a belief in lack and limitation.
Often times, while engaging in this particular rant, I wasn’t even upset about me not having money for gas, I was upset for other people who were probably forced to choose between gas and food. I realized that I was projecting my belief in lack onto my brothers! I’ve finally come to understand that I can most help my brothers as I heal the false beliefs in my own mind.
Right then and there as I drove by the gas station: First, I saw the thoughts of lack; then I recognized them as stemming from a belief in lack, which stemmed from a desire to know myself as lacking and limited. I remembered that I no longer want to create such experiences, and so I prayed:
Holy Spirit,
I am willing to let go of the belief in
lack and limitation.
I give it to You.
I trust that you will correct it for me.
Thank You.
After a few months of this, I suddenly noticed that in other areas of my life where I had previously been prone to slipping into thoughts of lack, I no longer had such thoughts, and when I did, I caught them quickly and focused on my true desire.
While I have worked with many practices over the years in regard to this belief, this is the only practice that has led to healing it. My inner teacher has led me to material over the last few years that facilitated many deeper insights, but NTI (The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament), and particularly NTI James, has been a life-changer.**
In James we are taught: “Be a conscious-minded teacher of yourself”. The way we do this is to bring awareness to the thoughts in the mind, and through such awareness we learn that we can choose what we really want.
The world was made through the desire to want to experience being something other than I am in truth. In this world of form we have the opportunity to experience lack, guilt, unworthiness, limitation, fear…and I say “opportunity” because, it is through willingness to really let ourselves experience it, and to look at our thoughts as we do, that we can then ask ourselves, “Do I want to continue experiencing this?” If you do, that’s fine, but if you don’t… Let’s face it; false beliefs have been creating our experiences for way too long.
“You always receive as you have asked, but you may not be aware that you are receiving because you do not know what you have asked for.
“You do not ask from God through the expression of your words or thoughts. You ask from the process of creation through the desire that you give your energy to.” (NTI James 4v1-3)
Using the lack example again: We may think that we want more money, a better job, or certain possessions, etc. – when we are not watching our thoughts, we don’t recognize that we are being led by the desire to know ourselves as lacking and limited, and so we are getting the experience that we asked for, but we don’t know it because we’re not conscious.
One of my favorite teachings in A Course in Miracles says that it is the unwatched mind that makes up the whole of the unconscious. I find this to be a wow statement. Our lives seem to be driven by unconscious forces, but when we watch our thoughts we see that it’s not unconsciousness, all the evidence as to why we do what we do is right there, rolling through the mind, and once we see it, we can then make another choice.
We ask God, we create, through the desire we give our energy to.
HS: “Be vigilant and rejoice! The time of freedom is at hand!”
**********
This audio was recorded on 9-4-11 and is part 2 of the “Be Watchful with Me” Series.
This first 20 minutes of this audio is about this blog.
* This message can be found at: http://www.reginadawnakers.com in the monthly archive section dated, January 17, 2007. When I use the symbol “HS” I am quoting directly from the message.
On both my audio and “course note” blog I have an entry on “Be Watchful with Me” where you can find the audios, and information to Regina’s audios as well.
** I spoke and wrote a blog on NTI James in a post called “What do I want Now?”, dated 12/9/10, that can be found on my Course Notes blog, #84: http://www.sherylvalentine.blogspot.com
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