No Longer a Victim: Reversing Cause and effect
At one point I realized that every significant breakthrough in my life occurred only after I realized, on some level, that I was the problem. Thus the title of my book: “Oh My God. It’s Me!” This is probably why I find the most helpful teaching in A Course in Miracles to be, without a doubt, this one:
~ You are doing this to yourself. ~
The Course also tells us to beware the temptation of seeing ourselves as unfairly treated, and that we are responsible for what we see. Some have felt more blame and guilt through this message, but I find it liberating and empowering because, if I am aware that I am doing something to myself, ideally, I can stop doing it to myself.
I cannot choose to awaken from a dream that I think someone else is dreaming for me, which is why freedom lies in the recognition that I am the dreamer of my dream.
The “tiny mad idea” that the Course speaks of is the choice to have the experience of being something other than what we are created to be. We are unlimited, powerful and free creations of God, and on a level that I don’t totally understand, we desired to have an experience of what it would be like to experience lack, limitation and powerlessness.
Over the years I’ve observed that in the areas in our lives where we feel a sense of frustration, struggle, or pain, if looked at more deeply, we will see that we feel victimized by forces outside our own mind. Ironically though, we are always and only victimized by our own false thoughts, beliefs and desires. These false thoughts, beliefs and desires are cause, and our life experiences are effect.
Owning a business for the last 25 years has been a great classroom to learn an infinite number of lessons! Over all those years I have learned that business is affected only by what is going on in my mind, however, this is a lesson that I continue to learn over-and-over again, presumably because that’s one area in my life where I am easily mesmerized by the world of form.
In the whole of my life I have not been one who has felt victimized or who has seen myself as a victim; nevertheless, over the years I have come to see those pockets in my mind where I think victim thoughts.
About ten years ago or so, I was angry about changes in the health insurance industry and I was also angry about never-ending renovations that were going on in the office building I was in. I felt that both of these circumstances were affecting my business and thus my income.
One day as I was driving to work I had a sudden revelation: “Sheryl, you are playing the victim to insurance companies and your office building.” This came as a rude awakening because I had not heretofore seen myself as “victim” of anything, but on that day I saw it loud-and-clear. The thoughts that limit us can be subtle but once recognized, they are quite glaring. My business increased immediately as I realized that I had only been victimized by my thoughts.
Recently, and once again, I saw how easily I fall into feeling victimized by insurance companies. And of course, I can point to all kinds of evidence that this is true, however, this world was set up to look that way. The worldly lament: Look what is happening to me! Nevertheless, I have observed time-and-time-again that when I change my mind, form changes as well.
I am aware that this particular form of feeling victimized stems from the belief in lack and limitation.
“Ah… I see it again, I am falling into feeling victimized and lacking because of something going on in the world, but this is only an opportunity to remind myself that my purpose is healing, my purpose is Know thy Self as God created it, unlimited and free.
I came across a wonderful message and teaching from Regina Dawn Akers* a few weeks ago that enabled me to see the next step. The message is called, “’Victim’ is a carefully crafted experience.” I go through the whole message in the audio but for the sake of simplicity I will share only parts of it here.
“Not choosing to be victim is choosing to remember, but not choosing to be victim is not attacking the root. To get to the root, you must look at your judgment. This is the cause of all guilt, and it is guilt that spawns the anesthesia of victim.”
A source of frustration has been that while I can quickly step out of these victimizing thoughts, I didn’t understand why I continue to so easily be pulled into them. When I heard Regina teach on this message, I had one of those Aha! Moments.
Since I had just had the experience of thinking those victim thoughts, and had chosen to remember that this was not the truth about my reality, I saw why this was not enough. I had not gotten to the root of these thoughts and feelings, which is why they continue to return.
The message goes on to say:
“Notice the judgments in your own mind. In this moment you are experiencing the false, believing it and following the pattern of this belief. This is a time to stop and recognize clearly what you are doing. If you look with honesty you will see what you need to see. You are not a victim.”
And so, when I look to the world and momentarily feel that insurance companies or the economy affect my business, in that moment I have made a judgment of lack and limitation, and I believe in that moment that the world is at cause and I am at effect.
“You are judging and choosing and your experience comes from you.”
I make a judgment about lack or unworthiness, I see these thoughts, and then I have a choice. I can hold onto those thoughts and beliefs, or I can let them be an opportunity to remind me that I am free.
Our inner work must be on willingness to look at these false beliefs and desires so that we can let them go.
Holy Spirit,
I see this thought.
I see that this thought comes from a false belief.
I see that this belief comes from the false desire
to know myself as separated from Truth.
I no longer want this.
I want to focus on my true desire,
that of healing,
and remembrance.
I am as God created me,
unlimited and free.
Amen.
As we focus on our true desire instead of allowing ourselves to be driven by false desires, we create a future different from the past. Through willingness and vigilant practice we come to know ourselves as free.
“Nothing has happened but that you have put yourself to sleep, and dreamed that you were an alien to yourself, and but a part of someone else’s dream. The miracle does not awaken you, but merely shows you who the dreamer is. The miracle teaches you there is a choice while you are still asleep, depending on the purpose of your dreaming. Do you wish for dreams of healing, or for dreams of death? A dream is like a memory in that it pictures what you wanted shown to you. The choice is yours to make between a sleeping death and dreams of evil or a happy wakening and joy of life.” (ACIM T-28.II.2:4, T-27.VII.9)
Do you wish to dream of your brother’s kindnesses, or dream of his mistakes?
Do you wish to dream of a world where you are at cause, or at effect?
I am not a victim of the world I see because the world I see can be changed when I change my mind. Practice letting your Heart lead in all that you do and you will be led directly to where you need to go.
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The audio was recorded on 6/6/11 and contains much more than is shared here.
This is a powerful teaching from Spirit Within to Me and you ;)
*This message and audio can be found at: http://www.reginadawnakers.com
under “Holy Spirit Guides 71+” and it is week number 116. If you enjoy this blog and my audio, you will want to listen to hers as well because we have vastly different life experiences and Holy Spirit uses us to teach in different ways.
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