Hi there,
I initially posted this in 3/10, but was drawn to it again this week. Enjoy!
I read the following autobiography around twenty years ago. I held onto it because even then, I found it brilliant in that it chronicles the emotional and spiritual stages we go through in order to break out of self-imposed prisons and enjoy the light of day.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it's a habit…but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Chapter One reveals our tendency to feel victimized; while Chapter Two calls our attention to how we engage in denial. Chapter Three introduces the idea that as we open our eyes to our repetitive thought patterns, we can then take responsibility for them and move on to Chapter Four – personal empowerment. Chapter Five represents freedom through making another choice.
The addictive, compulsive thought loops that drive our behavior are about falling into that hole over and over again.
A Course in Miracles tells us: “Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you can now make a better one.”
This means that the hole in the sidewalk is going to come up again and again and again until you realize that it is a choice you have made. Begin to view those holes in the sidewalk as simply opportunities to choose again.
Chapter Three in the autobiography points out that we must awaken to the fact that we have a choice. It is your responsibility to choose the life you want. In relinquishing that responsibility, you are destined to drift through life aimlessly waiting for others to make your choices for you. Realize that you do not have to choose anger, denial, self-pity or blame. In the past you may have thought you were in pain because of what was done to you, but you now realize that you are in pain because of how you think about what was done to you. To heal, you must come to the realization that you are doing it to yourself. And yes, this is not fun, but ultimately it will set you free.
Even with the knowledge that you have a choice, you can stay just as stuck unless you are willing to exercise that choice. In some ways, knowing that you have a choice and not exercising it is worse because, you may then beat yourself up: ‘Now I know I have a choice, but I'm not exercising that choice, I'm just a failure! I’m worthless!’ You just fell back into the hole. But now you know that you don't have to stay there.
All too often, we forget that the greatest power we have been given is that of choice. We let people and events enslave us emotionally – I am angry because you are doing this to me. Or, I have financial problems because they are doing it to me. Or, I have an illness because God is doing it to me. In order to attain peace of mind, you must come to recognize that you always have a choice as to how to respond to what is happening in your life.
Blaming anyone or anything for our problems will not set us free. Personal empowerment evolves through recognition that pain is stemming from how I choose to think about the circumstances in my life. In any situation, I have a choice between imprisonment and freedom. If I created something in my life, I also possess the same creative power to change it. The obstacles, the holes in the sidewalk, are simply opportunities to learn a lesson. Your life is a classroom. You can learn your lessons with the Teacher of Love and union, or with the teacher of fear and attack. Which teacher will you choose?
Chapter Five – Freedom. I walk down another street. It is probably fair to say that few of us are there yet, at least in the whole of our lives. But it is our destiny to become free of our self-imposed limitations. When, is our choice.
One of my favorite lines in A Course in Miracles says, In every difficulty, all distress, and each perplexity the Holy Spirit calls to you and gently says “My brother, choose again” I love that – My brother, choose again.
Begin to view the holes in the sidewalk for what they are – opportunities to choose again. You will experience freedom when you stop condemning the world and choose to see it from a higher, more loving vision.
Life really does become more fun and meaningful when you do this inner work. You begin to see that there is meaning within all that happens to you. Have you had the experience of going through a divorce, business failure, an illness or whatever; and in the aftermath realizing that you had gained a gift from the experience? Through spiritual practice, we can learn to find the gift in our circumstances, and cease feeling victimized by them.
We have all experienced those situations when we said, "I know one of these days I will laugh about this!" Laugh now! What is keeping you from laughing now when you know you'll be laughing later? It's a choice. You can laugh now. But does that mean that you deny your feelings, invalidate them, or act like you’re not hurt? No! Feel bad! Cry! Moan to all your friends! But in a few days, start laughing. Choose again, make another choice – a higher choice. Your choices can liberate you or keep you in bondage.
The journey is about Self-realization. It can seem to be a long process. You are not seeking human perfection, but the remembrance of who You are. See your projections as a gift, as a thought process that can teach you whether you are choosing fear or love. With awareness, you can then make another choice – a choice to extend love into the world rather than project fear.
When you find yourself tempted to fall into that hole yet again, stop for a moment, enter the silence, and listen as the Voice for Love whispers, “Choose another street.”
Holy Spirit,
I am willing to refrain from
thoughts that are not helpful
to me at this time.
I turn to You for ever-present strength
and inspiration to
choose again.
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